Hope In the New Year

Our first get-together of the New Year and there’s no message series to kick us off. So what do a group of mostly Catholic guys do to begin a New Year? You reach a bit (or maybe a lot for some of us) and ask each guy to bring and share a scripture verse that reflects their hopes for the New Year.
If you want to know if God really shows up in small groups, check out the richness of the scripture that this bunch of self professed bible illiterate Catholic guys were able to pull together on very short notice.

I hope in the New Year that I…
Proverbs 3:5-6 = trust God more and rely less on my own wisdom and power
James 2:23-26/4:13-17 = have the courage to do the right thing no matter what the personal cost
Exodus 4:39-42 = know the Lord more than know about the Lord (Rahner)
Romans 12:9-13 = keep faith, practice love, and share myself even in midst of my struggles
Matthew 6:25-34 = worry less and focus on what I really need, not want
Romans 8:28 = really come to know (not wish or hope) that God is working always for my good even if I can’t see it
Psalm 46 = will become more quiet, know that God is God, and that God is okay with my struggle
1 Thessalonians 4:9-12 = serve my clients at work better by working harder
Psalm 19 = can translate the ability to see God’s greatness in nature into seeing God’s greatness in my life
Jeremiah 29:11/Ecclesiastes 7:14/Joshua 1:9/Psalm 23 (obviously, some of us are better versed in scripture than others or just couldn’t settle on one!) = commit to what God, not I, want for my life and deal with my anger issues better
Ephesians 4:17-32 = live a more God honoring life and not just say the words

It continues to amaze me what can happen in small groups. Two years ago, this exercise would have been a difficult (if not threatening) one for most of us. We all had a “passing acquaintance” with scripture, but never really encountered God in the words of scripture. And now, scripture’s richness, comfort, guidance and hope are real parts of our group. The practical scripture application from the pulpit at Nativity and the message series definitely help. But you if you only sit in rows on Sunday and never join the circle of a small group, you will really miss out on an important part of your journey. God’s word speaks more clearly to us in our circle, has more practical meaning in our lives because of what we share with each other, and, more and more, our hopes are built on those words and how they resonate more clearly through the voices of our group members.

What would your scripture verse be for the New Year? It’d be great if you’d share it with us - and your own small group. We’d love to add your hopes to our prayers for the New Year.

Old Year, New Year

God gave us seven days between Christmas and New Years so we could recover from the Christmas rush and get ready for the New Year. Good and gracious God. I’ve had some quiet time to do some thinking. If you sat this week and thought about your small group, what would you tell us? Here are some of my thoughts about our group:

- All 11 guys carved out some time to dive deeper in a weekend retreat – an amazing experience for all of us
- This group leader has deepened his faith and moved forward in his faith journey because of the guys in my group - thanks for the blessing
- If you haven’t felt challenged, angry, confused, exhilarated, authentic, excited, sad, dishonest, humbled, questioning, hurt, like a “poser”, hopeful, more trusting, guilty, arrogant, closer to God, farther from God, are you really leading and is it an authentic group
- One guy’s commitment to Baltimore Station has kept the rest of us grounded in the needs of others and humbled by the effort some people at the Station put in to remaking their lives
- Anger, lust, guilt, money, priorities, and many, many more topics were wrestled with and dealt with real honesty
- Watching a guy struggle to save his business is hard, but not as hard as trying to save it
- Memorizing verses from scripture can anchor your life: “I know that in all things God works for the good of those who love God.” (Paul to the Romans)
- The singing is getting better, but the guitar playing is still a work in progress
- Feeling the presence and power of God work every week in a small group is awesome
- Sharing the pain of one guy’s impending separation and the relief of a Christmas shared with family who loves him makes Christmas special
- There are great cooks in our group who are beginning to get a handle on portion control
- Struggling with whether you believe in God or not is a great reason to be in a Nativity small group
- Blogging is like journaling only more public and more scary
- Telling your story – and multiple times - to a group of guys you have come to trust will change the way you tell your story next time
- Authentic relationships only come when people help keep each other honest
- Three new guys joining the group can make the group even stronger
- Staying connected with a brother in Afghanistan is hard – prayers help
- Christmas pot luck suppers are a lot of fun – and quite tasty
- Nativity message series are not for the faint of faith – they will challenge you, threaten some of your old beliefs, and grow you as a follower of Christ
- Eldredge on prayer can change you relationship with God – really
- The challenge of a small group is to become more authentic in your relationship with God and everyone around you
- “Posing” is hard to do for long in a healthy small group
- How does a tight group who enjoy coming together face the challenge of opening up to more guys who need what a great group can offer – prayer

I am blessed by my group and my Heavenly Father’s real presence there. My prayer for 2011 is that all of you and many, many more are blessed by the grace and gift of a strong, healthy, authentic small group. Happy New Year.

The Christmas Gap

Focusing on the simple story of Christmas this Advent opens up so many parts of the story that I have missed over the years. I always think of Advent in terms of “expectation” and “repentance” and “preparation” and “sacrifice.” How do I prepare for Christmas? What should I give up during Advent for penance? How do I get ready for the coming of Jesus? All good stuff. But “healing” was never an Advent word for me.
Our group spent some time talking about healing and what we needed to have healed or restored in our lives. One guy needs his heart healed in the middle of a painful separation and likely divorce. One of us (who probably spoke for many of us) needs to be healed from the pride that makes him want to do it all alone. Another member wants healing from the deep loneliness that settles on his heart during the holidays. Another wants healing from the anger that quickly rises to the surface.
As I listened, I thought of the gap that exists at Christmas. There is such longing at this time of year for happiness, joy, contentment, fulfillment, and peace. And yet there are so many stories of sadness, loneliness, depression, anxiety, stress, and even ill will and tragedy. The Christmas Gap. It was amazing how the areas that need healing in our lives seem to rise more quickly and more frequently to the surface during Christmas and can overwhelm the happiness and joy that we really want during this season.
And then we try to fill the gap - with Ipads, new cars, bigger screen TV’s, expensive parties, pretty decorations, busyness, expensive presents and lots of them. Our culture certainly recognizes the gap. But it seems to offer only one solution – bigger, more, more often. Most of us have tried those gap fillers with limited and very short term success. I can fend off my unhappiness and longings with new stuff for a while, but I’m quickly in search of what’s next to fill the gap that hasn’t gone away.
God understands the Christmas Gap and knows that the way we try to fill it – even in Jesus’ time – is focused on the wrong things. We try to satisfy desires. God is about healing hearts. So God gave us the simple story of Christmas. And healing and restoration are such an important part of it. God fills the Christmas Gap with faithfulness and the promise of a restored heart; by sending Jesus in the most humble form with the most powerful message of healing and restoration. The Christmas Gap is only really filled by the healing and restoration of our hearts in Jesus.
Trying to satisfy my wants with stuff only exposes the deep longings of my heart. Advent points to the restoring and healing of our hearts as the only way to satisfy our deepest desires. Where do you need to fill the gap - have your heart healed and restored this Christmas? Whose heart can you help heal and restore this Christmas? Spend Less. Give More. Love Others. Worship Fully.

A Simple Story

We talked about what we hoped for at Christmas in group this week. We hoped our kids (and grand kids) would come to understand the meaning of Advent and Christmas. We hoped for more family time without outside distractions. We hoped for a new start in our lives. We all had hopes.
But what did we base our hopes on? Is G0d the source of our hope? That was a tougher question. If you view God as a God Judgment (which my God was for years), it can be difficult to center your hope there. If God is solely the "Final Evaluator" of how we lived our lives, hope can be fleeting. Maybe it's this view of God that has many people looking elsewhere for hope. Unfortunately, they often find a false hope based on what our consumer culture promises. Christmas consumerism leads to brief happiness, but always disappoints. Our Christmas story places hope in a completely different context.
In the face of the story of the birth of Jesus and what it means for our future salvation, the false hope of a consumer oriented Christmas is shattered. Our Christmas story is one of true, lasting, unwavering hope. Our Christmas is grounded in God's faithfulness demonstrated over the centuries (Abraham, Jesse, and David attest to this faithfulness). It is God's faithfulness that Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, and the Magi placed their hope and trust in. It is God's faithfulness to us - personally and individually - that is the center of our Christmas story.
The players in the first Christmas story were certainly afraid, doubtful, and questioning (just like me). Even for a trusting person, this is a pretty amazing story - angels appearing in the night sky announcing to mere shepherds; shepherds abandoning their flocks (the sheep owner can't be happy with that move); three rich guys following a single star for weeks not knowing where they were going; a husband putting his new bride and soon to be born child in a dirty stable; a young woman at the center of it all who must have been the most amazed of all. Quite a story for the birth of the Son of God.
The amazing events of Jesus' birth can't help but give us comfort - no matter what the turmoil in our lives. Our God is a God of faithfulness and not merely judgment. The Christmas story points to a God who is eternally and individually faithful. It is a story that should overcome all our fears and give us great hope.
I am spending more time this Advent sitting with the simple story of Bethlehem, the faithfulness of my God, and the real reasons for me to be hopeful this Christmas. Are you hopeful this Christmas? Are you sharing your hope grounded in God's faithfulness with others who are searching for a Merry Christmas? The simple stories can be the most amazing.

It's A Conspiracy

We shared our Christmas experiences in group this week and I was struck by how much of what was shared went against the popular image of being “merry gentlemen.” There was loneliness, anxiety, separation, loss, routine gift giving or no gift giving, family conflicts. Not the stuff of Hallmark cards.

As I listened, three thoughts rolled around in my mind. First, Fr. White said we need to “Christianize Christmas.” Next, Advent Conspiracy talks about Black Friday being a “worship event” for many. And finally one of the guys in our group commented that in his life “Invariably, ‘stuff’ doesn’t deliver.” I guess it’s not hard to see how the emotions many of us expressed surface when set in the context of these three phrases. We have let the simple Christmas story get away from us and we’re finding little real fulfillment in what our consumer society has offered in its place.

At the heart, Christmas is a really simple story. God loving us so much that Jesus is sent to restore our hearts and deepen our relationships. And it's that story that makes these simple phrases so powerful: Worship fully. Spend less. Give more. Love all.

How did Christmas get so complicated? How did it lose its depth of meaning? How did we let it get so out of hand? Interesting questions, but probably not very productive to spend a lot of time on those questions. We’re being challenged to spend time in much more productive ways that directly impact those questions. Worship fully. Spend less. Give more. Love all. But, in the face of the tidal wave of Christmas that is sweeping toward us, these simple phrases are not so simple to live. Especially if you try to make them come to life in very personal ways.

Giving to provide lunches for kids in Haiti – that’s a home run. Carving out more time for personal prayer during Advent - a stretch maybe, but doable. Spend less? Give more? Now that’s where I’m pulled up short. Ellen and I worked on the Advent Conspiracy concepts last year and it planted some seeds in us. And it seems to be bearing fruit this year. We suggested to one of our daughters that, instead of giving us some wine as she had planned, she donate the money to the Haiti lunch program. The seed was planted last year and she didn’t bat an eye at the idea. A check was written and the conspiracy spread. We have the AC2 bags from church for the rest of our children. We expect the response to be as positive. But now the real test – what do I give Ellen for Christmas?

The lesson for me continues to be that it’s personal. Once Ellen and I changed the way we looked at Christmas, it was easier to show others a different way to approach Christmas. Such a small change - one person, two people, three people. But what if those numbers multiplied? What if others joined? What if small pockets of our culture could change the way they celebrate the birth of Jesus? What if…it’s a conspiracy.

It's Personal

When does your small group really become personal? When does it become more than a Wednesday night get together with a group of guys? When is it more than just a “church thing?”
Our group meeting was good last Wednesday night. We continued with Eldredge’s “Walking With God” which has really grabbed the group. How do you guard your heart? What does that even mean? What longings or desires really drive you? As usual, our answers were varied: desire for peace; desire for validation; desire for freedom from financial fear. In the midst of this, we grappled with what are you willing to tell your spouse about your desires. What should you tell your spouse about your desires? What’s best left unsaid? And of course, we had to close with a conversation about tithing. Definitely a topic for further discussion in our group.
Pretty typical group and all good. But when does it get personal? I’m on the 15th tee at Mount Pleasant Saturday afternoon (game going south after a good front nine – also pretty typical for me) and I check the phone for messages. One of the guys in our group wants to know if I’m free for coffee. I know from our group meetings that there’s a lot going on in this guy’s life and most of it, at the moment, isn’t great. Plans for the afternoon get revised. After a relaxing round of golf on a very pleasant November morning, I'm sitting in a Panera’s diving into the depths of gut wrenching tears, fears, doubts, guilt, anger and an overwhelming sense of loss.
I’m sad and have prayed all the way from the golf course for my friend. I can't think of anything to offer that can touch the emotional pit I know he’s in. I sit and actually listen for what God wants me to hear for my brother (it’s an Eldredge thing I’m slowly coming to believe in) who is in too much pain to hear much of anything for himself. God is asking me to tell him to trust God more. To turn his most deep seated fear, the one thing he dreads most in his life at the moment, over to God. To cross a very difficult line into deeper intimacy with God. But isn't that the standard, somewhat trite, "church" answer to all of our problems? Can I really tell him that in the midst of all his pain? Is that really what he needs to hear right now? But I need to trust God, too. And that’s what I tell him.
That’s when small group becomes personal for me. When one of your brothers trusts you enough in the depths of his pain to call you on a Saturday, ask for help, and know that, if at all possible, your brother will sit with you for two hours, listen, and risk saying things that you may not want to hear. I hope your small group is personal. If it’s not, the hard work to make it personal is absolutely worth it. And I know 10 other guys who will tell you the same thing.
It’s not about Wednesday night and it’s not about Sunday morning. It’s about when Church gets personal for two brothers and their God.