Small Groups - Big Change

How does it happen that, almost intuitively, all of us in our group felt that we could go deeper; that there was more depth of sharing possible; less posing we wanted to do; more vulnerability we needed to drive toward, another leve we could reach? Last week’s discussion kicked off last night’s group.

I heard this phrase somewhere (probably an Andy Stanleyism) – God’s will in God’s way in God’s time. We asked to be led deeper into fellowship and last night it was God’s will and it was God’s time for us.

I led off trying to explain my sense of urgency for our group to multiply. I have clearly created some discomfort by pushing the topic. None of us really like the idea, but we talked about our fears. Most of us are afraid to lose the good thing we have in the group. Trust takes time and hard work to build. Few of us are anxious to start over with the hard work of building trust with another group of men we don't know. We know we'll never really be “ready” to expand a circle into two circles, but I’m more confident that, after last night, we’ll know when it’s time and work through the tough decision.

That conversation was a mere baby step toward the edge of the plateau. One of our guys then took a major leap to the next place dragging us with him. He read three pages that emotionally and heroically placed his broken and troubled heart in the middle of the room for all of us to see. His self image is shaken and confused; he’s facing a painful divorce; he fears for his relationship with his sons; he’s fighting bouts with depression; he despairs of things ever getting better; has all kinds of voices telling him how he should handle things; and has few places to pour out his hurt. How does one find the courage to lay all of that out in front of seven other guys? What do you do when you’re handed someone’s broken heart?

We started doing what most guys do - offer suggestions to “fix” the situation. Seeing the deep pain in his eyes, we quickly moved away from that. We offered support, shared similar painful experiences, and mostly just experienced the ache of a despairing heart. Then we did something we have never done. We always go around the circle and pray at the end of our meetings. Last night we went around the circle and prayed specifically for our brother who placed his broken heart in our hands. There was little we could really do last night but pray with him and for him. We left humbled, honored, aching a bit more in our hearts, and wondering about this new place we may have entered. Small Groups – Big Change.

P.S. Did I mention that we had a new member join us last night? Not sure what he really thought at the end of all this, but it was certainly quite an introduction to a Nativity Small Group. God’s will in God’s way in God’s time.