It's Personal

When does your small group really become personal? When does it become more than a Wednesday night get together with a group of guys? When is it more than just a “church thing?”
Our group meeting was good last Wednesday night. We continued with Eldredge’s “Walking With God” which has really grabbed the group. How do you guard your heart? What does that even mean? What longings or desires really drive you? As usual, our answers were varied: desire for peace; desire for validation; desire for freedom from financial fear. In the midst of this, we grappled with what are you willing to tell your spouse about your desires. What should you tell your spouse about your desires? What’s best left unsaid? And of course, we had to close with a conversation about tithing. Definitely a topic for further discussion in our group.
Pretty typical group and all good. But when does it get personal? I’m on the 15th tee at Mount Pleasant Saturday afternoon (game going south after a good front nine – also pretty typical for me) and I check the phone for messages. One of the guys in our group wants to know if I’m free for coffee. I know from our group meetings that there’s a lot going on in this guy’s life and most of it, at the moment, isn’t great. Plans for the afternoon get revised. After a relaxing round of golf on a very pleasant November morning, I'm sitting in a Panera’s diving into the depths of gut wrenching tears, fears, doubts, guilt, anger and an overwhelming sense of loss.
I’m sad and have prayed all the way from the golf course for my friend. I can't think of anything to offer that can touch the emotional pit I know he’s in. I sit and actually listen for what God wants me to hear for my brother (it’s an Eldredge thing I’m slowly coming to believe in) who is in too much pain to hear much of anything for himself. God is asking me to tell him to trust God more. To turn his most deep seated fear, the one thing he dreads most in his life at the moment, over to God. To cross a very difficult line into deeper intimacy with God. But isn't that the standard, somewhat trite, "church" answer to all of our problems? Can I really tell him that in the midst of all his pain? Is that really what he needs to hear right now? But I need to trust God, too. And that’s what I tell him.
That’s when small group becomes personal for me. When one of your brothers trusts you enough in the depths of his pain to call you on a Saturday, ask for help, and know that, if at all possible, your brother will sit with you for two hours, listen, and risk saying things that you may not want to hear. I hope your small group is personal. If it’s not, the hard work to make it personal is absolutely worth it. And I know 10 other guys who will tell you the same thing.
It’s not about Wednesday night and it’s not about Sunday morning. It’s about when Church gets personal for two brothers and their God.