Feeling Like a 6

"How personal does Jesus seem to you on a scale of 1-10?"

This would have been a more comfortable question to answer last night in our group before we started reading Acts. My relationship with Jesus has become more personal (even though it was always pretty personal) and more pervasive in my life. The difference is largely due to Nativity and my small group. But reading Acts puts a "personal relationship" with Jesus in a whole new context. Bold? Dangerous? Fearless? Not so much. Guitar Hero is still resonating.
When I read Acts, I feel like a 6 on that 10 point scale. I'm not saying I don't have a good personal relationship with Jesus - at a 6 I'm sure I'm better than some. But the Apostles paint quite a picture of what a personal relationship with Jesus can - and should? - look like. Preaching fearlessly in the temple. Standing boldly before accusers. Constantly and with enthusiasm sharing their experience of the Risen Jesus. Going outside their safe communities to bring Jesus' words to any and all. Not caring what "men" think and only wanting to obey God. Wow - that's a 10!
Part of me feels discouraged. The standard that the Apostles set seems far out of my reach. But Acts also shows that the Apostles started out fearful, timid and hiding out. That I can relate to. But Jesus promised and delivered on sending the Holy Spirit and their lives were transformed. Jesus has made the same promise to us. We just have to believe He will deliver for us like He did for His disciples.
6 isn't bad, but, in Jesus, all things are possible - even me becoming a 10. I'm praying for myself and my brothers to be open to the Spirit and the gift of being an Apostle-like 10.